Resources

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Here you’ll find Unbuttoned Epistles’ recommended sex-positive resources for sexual and spiritual safety and well-being (with notes)! Many of these cover multiple categories. Note: This page is in progress and not yet alphabetized.

Crisis Resources and Hotlines

  • The Trevor Project – “The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.” For immediate help, call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386 or follow the link.
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 1-800-799-7233 (24/7) or follow the link to live chat 24/7
  • RAINN: Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network – Call 1-800-656-4673 (24/7) or follow the link to live chat 24/7
  • Cyber Civil Rights Initiative Crisis Helpline – “If you are a victim of nonconsensual pornography (‘NCP’, also known as ‘revenge porn’), recorded sexual assault (RSA), or sextortion and you reside in the United States, please call the CCRI Crisis Helpline at 844-878-CCRI (2274). Compassionate and cross-trained representatives can provide information, support, referrals, and non-legal advice. The toll-free CCRI Crisis Helpline is available 24 hours a day and seven days a week, and interpretation is available in most languages.”
  • Online Removal Guide – Step-by-step info on getting non-consensually shared images removed from popular social media platforms and other sites

Legitimate Sex Education For All

  • Scarleteen – “inclusive, comprehensive, supportive sexuality and relationships info for teens and young adults”; also check out S.E.X., a guide for teens and young adults by Heather Corinna (founder of Scarleteen)
  • On YouTube: Sexplanations with Dr. Lindsey Doe, Watts The SafewordQueer Kid Stuff
  • Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon and kd diamond – an illustrated guide to sex for women (but it’s good for people of all genders)
  • The Dirty Loladex – a Twitter-based directory of sex educators of color

General LGBTQ Support Resources

  • PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) – a national support and advocacy organization for LGBTQ people and their families
  • GLAAD – an LGBTQ advocacy organization that promotes positive portrayals of LGBTQ people in the media; its annual ‘GLAAD Awards’ celebrate accurate and inclusive media; see its detailed resource list and media reference guide here

Transgender, Genderqueer, Gender-Variant, and Intersex Resources

  • Trans Student Educational Resources – “Trans Student Educational Resources is a youth-led organization dedicated to transforming the educational environment for trans and gender nonconforming students through advocacy and empowerment. In addition to our focus on creating a more trans-friendly education system, our mission is to educate the public and teach trans activists how to be effective organizers.”
  • PFLAG Transgender Resources – Resource list with sub-listings on topics like healthcare and media representation
  • Transgender Women of Color Collective – “TWOCC is a global initiative that works to uplift the narratives, lived experiences and leadership of trans and gender non-conforming people of color.”
  • Healthcare Resources for Transgender Patients – a listing by the Human Rights Campaign that includes health and insurance/coverage information
  • I Am Jazz – “The story of a transgender child based on the real-life experience of Jazz Jennings, who has become a spokesperson for transkids everywhere”
  • Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein – “’I know I’m not a man . . . and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m probably not a woman, either. . . . . The trouble is, we’re living in a world that insists we be one or the other.’ With these words, Kate Bornstein ushers readers on a funny, fearless, and wonderfully scenic journey across the terrains of gender and identity.”
  • AIS – DSD Support Group – a support organization for intersex people

Child-Friendly Resources

  • Queer Kid Stuff on YouTube – affirming programming for kids that tackles difficult issues in a warm, clear, and friendly way
  • Sex Positive Families Reading List – “over 100 sex positive books with themes such as body awareness, safety, LGBTQ, puberty, gender, sex education, feelings and more” classified by age group
  • I Am Jazz – “The story of a transgender child based on the real-life experience of Jazz Jennings, who has become a spokesperson for trans kids everywhere”
  • Flamingo Rampant – “Flamingo Rampant is a micropress with a mission – to produce feminist, racially-diverse, LGBTQ positive children’s books, in an effort to bring visibility and positivity to the reading landscape of children everywhere.” 
  • A Church for All and other books by Gayle E. Pitman – colorful, award-winning LGBTQ-affirming picture books
  • How Mamas Love Their Babies by Juniper Fitzgerald and Elise Peterson – revolutionary picture book that shows many ways that mothers provide for their children, including sex work
  • 17 LGBTQ-Friendly Books to Read to Your Kids in Honor of Pride – informative listicle

Resources for People of Color and Resources on Race and Racism

  •  Sex Ed in Color – a podcast lifting the perspectives of sexuality professionals of color, with Cameron Glover
  • For Collard Girls (podcast)– “For Collard Girls is a journey, a conversation, and podcast, that shares the unique, bold and beautiful narrative of womyn of color who are in spaces in the church, in the community, and in the world.”
  • Code Switch – an NPR podcast; “Race and Identity, Remixed”
  • Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower by Brittney Cooper – a collection of sharp, funny, and deep essays on the author’s experience with race, class, gender, and sexuality
  • The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander – a regrettably relevant book on mass incarceration and police brutality toward people of color in the United States
  • The Color of Kink: Black Women, BDSM, and Pornography by Ariane Cruz – “The Color of Kink explores black women’s representations and performances within American pornography and BDSM (bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism) from the 1930s to the present, revealing the ways in which they illustrate a complex and contradictory negotiation of pain, pleasure, and power for black women.”
  • The Women of Color Sexual Health Network – “The Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN) creates opportunities for inclusion and retention of people of color—with a focus on women and gender expansive people of color—in the fields of sexuality, sexual science, and sexology and challenges the white supremacy these fields were built upon.”

Resources for Men and Resources on Patriarchy

Asexuality/Aromanticism Resources

  • Asexuality 101 pdf – clear and useful introduction to asexuality created by the Trevor Project
  • The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network – “AVEN hosts the world’s largest online asexual community as well as a large archive of resources on asexuality. AVEN strives to create open, honest discussion about asexuality among sexual and asexual people alike.”
  • Asexual Groups – a directory of all existing asexual meet-up groups worldwide
  • Ace in the Hole – A blog that talks about sex and sex toys through the lens of asexuality

Disability and Chronic Illness Resources

  • Disability After Dark with Andrew Gurza – “a podcast that shines a bright light on issues about sex and disability with host, Andrew Gurza”
  • Rikki Poynter – “Rikki Poynter is a 27-year-old deaf vlogger on YouTube. She makes content about deaf awareness, accessibility/closed captioning awareness, mental health, feminism, and more.”
  • Lydia X. Z. Brown (Autistic Hoya) – Lydia X. Z. Brown is a queer autistic writer, speaker, activist, and attorney of color.

Body Image and Size Resources

  • The Labia Library – A photo gallery showing many different vulvas (please note that the language is cisnormative)
  • Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Affirmations to Empower Your Sex Life by Elle Chase – “Curvy Girl Sex provides tried and tested methods, positions, and sex hacks for plus-sized lovers of all types, and does it all in an empowering, body-positive light.”
  • Health at Every Size – HAES is a movement that “supports people of all sizes in addressing health directly by adopting healthy behaviors. It is an inclusive movement, recognizing that our social characteristics, such as our size, race, national origin, sexuality, gender, disability status, and other attributes, are assets, and acknowledges and challenges the structural and systemic forces that impinge on living well.”
  • Body Kindness Podcast – a podcast on letting go of diet culture and pursuing health without pursuing weight loss, hosted by HAES Dietitian and Certified Exercise Physiologist Rebecca Scritchfield

Porn and Erotica

Quality Sex Toys and Safer Sex Supplies

  • Note: While ‘Christian’ sex toy shops do exist, I choose not to recommend them here because they tend not to be queer-inclusive (among other issues).
  • “Sex Toys Will Never Be Able To Do The Hardest Work For You” – vital article by burlesque performer and sex educator Fancy Feast about the importance of understanding consent and power, communicating, and knowing that sex toys cannot solve problems in those areas
  • The Redhead Bedhead – sex blog with sex toy reviews and store recommendations (along with mental health resources)
  • Good Vibrations and Babeland – pioneering sex-positive companies that sell toys, lingerie, dams, and other quality products
  • MyPleasure – “MyPleasure was started by sex therapist Dr. Sandor Gardos in 2001 as a safe place for adults to shop for sex toys online.”
  • The Smitten Kitten – sex-positive, education-based, body-safe sex toy store located in Minneapolis and online
  • Forbidden Fruit – “Keeping Austin kinky since 1981”
  • Pure Romance – Along with typical sex toys and beauty products, Pure Romance sells a quality set of silicone dilators.

BDSM and Kink Resources

Ethical Non-Monogamy and Polyamory Resources

  • Poly.Land – ” Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More”
  • Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino – “Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships ― from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management.”

LGBTQ-Affirming and Sex-Positive Christian Resources

Other Affirming Religious, Spiritual, and Interfaith Resources

  • The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice – “The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice (RCRC) is a broad-based, national, interfaith movement that brings the moral force of religion to protect and advance reproductive health, choice, rights and justice through education, prophetic witness, pastoral presence and advocacy.” Among its resources are pages detailing the viewpoints of a variety of faith traditions on reproductive justice.
  • Queer Muslims – a blog that shares stories by and resources for LGBTQ Muslims
  • Muslims for Progressive Values – a non-profit organization that “establishes and nurtures vibrant progressive Muslim communities”; see its LGBTQI resource page here and an essay on Islam and sexual diversity here
  • Queer Ummah: A Visibility Project – a blog with personal stories by queer Muslims
  • It’s Not About the Burqa: Muslim Women on Faith, Feminism, Sexuality and Race by Mariam Khan – seventeen essays by Muslim women in the UK
  • Eshel – “Eshel’s mission is to create community and acceptance for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Jews and their families in Orthodox communities.”
  • Keshet – “Keshet works for the full equality of all LGBTQ Jews and our families in Jewish life. We strengthen Jewish communities. We equip Jewish organizations with the skills and knowledge to build LGBTQ-affirming communities, create spaces in which all queer Jewish youth feel seen and valued, and advance LGBTQ rights nationwide.”
  • Queer Jews of Color resource list from Keshet – “a comprehensive list of blogs, social media accounts, articles, and multimedia dedicated to sharing the ideas and experiences of QJoC.”

Policy and Activism Resources – Note that many of the organizations listed elsewhere on this page have an activist branch.

  • Soulforce – “Soulforce is a 20-year-old LGBTQI organization that works to sabotage Christian Supremacy and end the political and religious oppression of all marginalized people. With an ethic of relentless, nonviolent resistance, Soulforce sabotages Christian Supremacy through research and informed strategy; political and theological education; spiritual reclamation and community healing; and creative campaigns and direct action.”
  • Know the Sex Crime Laws in Your State and take action with RAINN
  • Healing Justice Podcast – restorative conversations, resources, and spiritual practices for activists
  • adrienne maree brown – “adrienne maree brown is author of Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds and the co-editor of Octavia’s Brood: Science Fiction from Social Justice Movements. She is a writer, social justice facilitator, pleasure activist, healer and doula living in Detroit.”
  • Trans Student Educational Resources – “Trans Student Educational Resources is a youth-led organization dedicated to transforming the educational environment for trans and gender nonconforming students through advocacy and empowerment. In addition to our focus on creating a more trans-friendly education system, our mission is to educate the public and teach trans activists how to be effective organizers.”
  • The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom – “The NCSF aims to advance the rights of, and advocate for consenting adults in the BDSM-Leather-Fetish, Swing, and Polyamory Communities.”
  • Indigenous Action Media – “Indigenous Action Media (IAM) was founded on August 25th, 2001 to provide strategic communications and direct action support for Indigenous communities sacred lands defense. We are a radical volunteer collective of experienced Indigenous media makers & agitators that work together on a project by project basis for media justice from an anti-colonial & anti-capitalist framework.”

Sexual Assault and Abuse Resources

The Science and History of Sex, Gender, and Sexuality

  • Chrysanthemum Tran (@chrystran on Twitter) – Vietnamese-American trans poet, performer, and educator who has written nuanced and well-researched threads on LGBTQ history (especially in the United States)
  • Hanne Blank’s books Straight and Virgin – somewhat didactic and Eurocentric but nonetheless a good introduction to the history of the concepts of “heterosexuality” and “virginity” in the Western world
  • The Little Tissue That Couldn’t – a peer-reviewed scientific article about the hymen and why an “intact” hymen does not signify virginity
  • Sawbones Podcast: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine – a lighthearted but well-researched podcast about medicine throughout history (including sexual healthcare)

Coaching and Therapy Links

  • On YouTube: Kati Morton, licensed therapist (clear introduction to therapy and mental health concerns)
  • The Open List – “Founded in 2008 by Tristan Taormino, The Open List is a list of professionals (therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, relationship and life coaches, doctors, lawyers, mediators, and alternative healthcare providers) who are experienced and knowledgeable about alternative sexuality and lifestyles, open relationships, polyamory, nonmonogamy, swinging, as well as BDSM, kink, leather, LGBTQIA communities, and other sexual minorities.”
  • SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) – “The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that leads public health efforts to advance the behavioral health of the nation. SAMHSA’s mission is to reduce the impact of substance abuse and mental illness on America’s communities.”
  • What to Do if You Can’t Afford Therapy, According to an Expert – article that talks through options for lower-cost therapy and mental health resources
  • AASECT’s “Locate a Professional” Resource – Search by location to find an AASECT-certified sex therapist, counselor, or educator in your area

For Faith Community Leaders – I recommend that faith leaders consult many resources from other categories as well.

  • A Church for All by Gayle E. Pitman and Laure Fournier – award-winning picture book that depicts an inclusive church community
  • For Collard Girls (podcast) – “For Collard Girls is a journey, a conversation, and podcast, that shares the unique, bold and beautiful narrative of womyn of color who are in spaces in the church, in the community, and in the world.”

Safer Sex Supplies, Emergency Contraception, and Abortion Resources

  • Planned Parenthood – free and low-cost birth control and safer sex resources, pregnancy testing, prenatal care, STI screening/treatment and other sexual healthcare, abortion services and referral, and education
  • Our Bodies Ourselves – a trove of resources on emergency contraception and abortion for a variety of circumstances
  • Apps and services like Nurx, HeyDoctor, and PillPack – I haven’t tried these, so your mileage may vary, but these mail-order services conveniently deliver birth control to your door, potentially at a lower cost than at the doctor’s office.
  • Are you a student? – Check your student health center and campus organizations; many LGBTQ centers, for example, will provide basic STI preventatives for free.

Sex Podcasts (because I’m a podcast person)

  • Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra – “Sex Gets Real is an honest, down-to-earth look at sex, BDSM, kink, relationships, bodies, queer culture, and everything in between. The goal of the show is to offer a sex-positive, kink-informed, trauma-informed, feminist, queer look at sex that’s free of shame, coercion, and the harmful myths perpetuated by society.”
  •  Sex Ed in Color – a podcast lifting the perspectives of sexuality professionals of color, with Cameron Glover
  • Why Are People Into That?! with Tina Horn – Thoughtful, sex positive discussion of the whys and hows of various kinks, hosted by sex worker, writer, and educator Tina Horn
  • Sex Ed A Go Go – “New York’s only sex positive and body positive live talk and variety show hybrid, hosted by the indomitable Dirty Lola, a sex educator, storyteller, and sex toy peddler who has made her name making sex education fun and empowering.”
  • American Sex Podcast – bantery and frank podcast on American Sex with acclaimed sexuality educators Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg
  • Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino – informative conversations between sex educator/author/filmmaker Tristan Taormino and other sex educators, artists, and icons
  • Sluts and Scholars – “Sexologist @msheidegger & law student Simone talk smart and fuck smarter.”
  • Unscrewed with Jaclyn Friedman – “Unscrewed is a podcast about all the ways our sexual culture is screwed up, and what it will take to untangle it. Tune in to hear Jaclyn talk with change-makers in a wide range of fields, bringing you conversations full of insight, surprise and charm, practical advice, and concrete ways to get involved.”

What am I missing? I’m always open to adding quality resources to this site. Contact me if you see something I should add!

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