An “About Me” Epistle

[Image description: Photo is of an Acrylic painting on canvas roller shade in blue, black, white, red, and purple of a red boat with white sails and a red moon.]

It’s hard for me to write about myself as a person without sounding like a series of dictionary entries. My life in academia and activism has taught me to identify by a set of labels, rattled off like a list of terms and conditions. Labels don’t encompass a person, but they do matter, so I’ll start with a few bullet points. 

I am a…

  • Young: millennial, grad student, stressed out, open-minded
  • Middle-class: somewhat protected by the financial safety net that my family provides
  • White: learning every day about how my race makes me a beneficiary and enforcer of an oppressive system that advantages white people at the expense of people of color 
  • Cisgender: my current gender happens to match the sex that I was assigned at birth
  • Bisexual/Queer: I’m sexually (and, rarely, romantically) attracted to people of my own gender and others 
  • Christian: part of the shrinking Protestant mainline in the American South; preacher’s kid who still loves the Church
  • Woman: privileged but fearful of loss of agency, healthcare, and other rights 

In conclusion, I’m a WASP with WASPy baggage. In church life, I’m a Presbyterian. We are sometimes known as “the Frozen Chosen.” In my kinky life, I’m a “switch”–I can enjoy power exchange as a dominant or submissive player. I have a wonderful collared submissive who helps me to grow as a Dominant and a few great play partners and friends in the kink community. 

All of my labels affect the way that I see and interact with the world, especially as an able-bodied U.S. citizen. I try to be mindful of them when I discuss issues of sexuality and gender. 

But a self that’s just a bunch of labels strung together looks pretty bland on the page, so here are five things that I like to do/have done that show my personality, in no particular order:

  • As a four-year-old, my idea of a great party was to pull all my books off the shelves and fall asleep on top of them. 
  • My sub has to do homework every day. Hot, right? Last week’s topic was racism in the criminal justice system. 
  • I hate driving and don’t have a car (I am a stereotypical queer that way). But I did buy myself an adult-sized kick scooter recently to help me get around. That’s a joy. 
  • In the process of building this website, I accidentally locked myself out of WordPress. My web hosting provider (shout-out to Stress Free Hosting) subsequently took pity on me and gave me extra software for free. 
  • I sing to myself almost constantly when I have the chance. Recent favorites include “Be Wherever You Are” from Steven Universe, assorted Hildegard of Bingen chants, “Why We Build The Wall” from Hadestown, and the Muppets’ version of “Ode to Joy.” 

So that’s a little of me. As I continue this journey, I’ll get into greater depth about the more salacious parts of my queer, kinky Christian life. I will tag and content-warn accordingly! 

Be of good courage,

Perpetua Fox

She/her/hers

@Perpetual_Fox on Twitter

I can’t believe I’m doing this – My First Epistle

[Image description: Photo is of a small cross with intricate Celtic designs and a small faux-leather flogger draped over a red wax candle in a glass container.]

Greetings, World! 

I wish that I could keep the WordPress default “Hello World!” post here as a placeholder because I’m not quite sure how to begin. I could say “Hey! Let’s talk about sex in the Church! I’m technically a virgin, and I have feelings about it!” *Nerd Energy Intensifies* 

Yes, I’m a queer, kinky Christian nerd, and I have a lot to say about sex (and Christianity). But who am I to say these things? Why don’t I just read what others are saying about sex, ignore what I don’t like, and leave it at that? 

That’s what I would have done a few years ago, back when I wrote erotic fanfiction but wouldn’t dream of publishing it. Then again, Donald Trump wasn’t president of the United States a few years ago, and I lived with the illusion that things would just…progress in a positive direction over time. 

I’ve learned the hard way that silence and civility won’t protect me or the people that I love, especially those who fall through the cracks in the discourse about Christianity and sex. 

Now, I’m in divinity school, learning about the Bible, religious history, and “the care of souls.” It’s been devastating. The most vulnerable people in our society, vulnerable in ways that I didn’t always understand, are suffering, largely because of a form of Christianity that turns people into shame factories.  

So I have to speak, and I have to write. And I have to write about the things that most people are ashamed to write, including the things that make me feel ashamed. It’s not going to be perfect, and that’s okay.

This is not going to be a ‘good Christian sex’ blog, though those have their place. This isn’t an apologetics blog–I will spend a little time on the so-called “Clobber Passages,” but making the Bible seem less horrific isn’t my main purpose here. For now, consider this a buffet of thoughts about sex, faith, and justice from my Christian perspective, ranging the technical to the deeply erotic, from the mundane to the (hopefully) profound. I will tag posts accordingly.  

More soon! In the meantime, check out the Resources page (in progress), email me at unbuttonedepistles@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter as @Perpetual_Fox. 

Be of good courage!

-Perpetua Fox

(She/her/hers pronouns)